The Selfish Reasons I Won’t Date Men with Children

April Hawkins, Ask A Bitchface
3 min readMar 29, 2024

How dating a man with them reminded me of exactly why I don’t.

photo via Unsplash

I’m a ridiculously selfish woman.

This isn’t something I’ve recently learned about myself. It’s not some sort of epiphany I had in the shower. It’s just factual information I’m giving you about myself, so the context is relayed early in this column.

I have a rule about dating guys with kids. I don’t do it. Not because I don’t like kids, although, truthfully, some of them are just awful. It’s because at the end of the day I’m investing my money, my time, and myself into a kid I have no say so over, and a relationship that has odds worse than Vegas.

I mean, think about it. You know he’s got at least one serious relationship broken off under his belt. And I don’t even have kids with him, so what reason does he have to stay and work it out with me?

Anytime I’ve ever dated a man with children, I’ve found I come in last, reach for my wallet first, and spend time and funds I ultimately don’t have to spend on a child I’m never going to see again.

Worse than that, one of the key benefits of being in a couple, financial stability, is off of the table when you date a man with kids. You watch him cut a check to his ex every single month, but God forbid you need help paying your…



April Hawkins, Ask A Bitchface

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